Sleep Talkin' Man

Karen Slavick met Adam Lennard in 1991 on a kibbutz in Israel, where he declared his love for her by passing out in her bed while he waited for her to return from a midnight swim. Understandably, she never forgot him. Over a decade later, they rekindled their romance and married—but then he fell asleep again, and all hell broke loose. Though he’s a romantic and mild-mannered Englishman by day, Adam quickly morphs into the uproariously foul-mouthed, vegetarian-hating, wildlife-obsessed character beloved by millions as Sleep Talkin’ Man, and Karen has the audio tapes to prove it. Among Adam’s greatest hits:

• “Squid wrestling: all tentacles and no substance.”
• “Back off, Robin. Batman is my b*tch now.”
• “Don’t you give me those puppy eyes. Put ’em back. Puppy needs them.”
• “The carrots are winning! Damn those parsnips and their stupid infighting.”
• “Flowers for the lovers, schnapps for the thinkers, death to the vegetarians.”
• “If that shark thinks it’s coming to bed for a cuddle, it’s got another thing coming.”“That’s right. crème anglaise, mother f*cker.”

These gems and more are interspersed with the fantastic conversations Karen and Adam have when he wakes, in which he attempts to interpret for Sleep Talkin’ Man, and stories that recount how love can bloom—even when your beloved is a nocturnal maniac. By turns crude and charming, Don’t Let the Midget Out of the Wardrobe is a hilariously candid journey into one man’s dreamland.